comments of an x post
watching several hours of zizek lectures
psychiatric drugs, cannabis, fucking up your caffeine and sugar intake
will hit mania threshold before the crash if you comorbid your drug intake
exercise, nicotine, eating clean
fasting and overdoing it with caffeine
might be in mixed-affective state
gloomy or anxious mood
fast thoughts low sleep
high alertness
project or idea to fixate on, incl. promiscuity
sunlight. more caffeine than usual. less food, more water. sleep an hour less than usual. do things that make you personally happy (should hit in a week or so)
how it feels to me
don't feel like i need to sleep at all despite my movement and little sleep the day before, i feel very alert
my eyes are open wider naturally, without necessarily even focusing on anything
feelings of power, control over others
feel that i can make things happen exactly based on my desires and everything i want is perfectly at reach- all it takes is time
lower appetite, small portions feel better and i feel full easily and for much longer. when i consider food i keep thinking i couldn't stomach it, it would be too much in some way, etc. food feels more like a nuissance
had one small bout of a depressed feeling earlier, wanted to cry and kind of did talking to jeffrey
have felt very alert and maybe slightly more anxious though thc/nicotine have affected that for the worst and best
also, only had two cups of coffee and one redbull, so less caffeine than usual and the high energy has persisted. last coffee also was at 15.00 so it's not affecting my need to sleep at midnight
GET FREE (AGAIN)
physical notes
small change. need to be sure that calories are still enough to not run out of energy. felt very bad today with less than 500 at 17.00
if choosing fresh fruit, need to include honey or more juice through the day after work. melon and juice is fine but only if you had more calories in the morning, or if you're having something else fairly quickly afterwards
if having dried fruit, either split it for two days and have with juice, or have the whole thing but snack on it over time and pair with an energy drink
if tracking, keep under 1300 or so. most of which should be through the day, light meals. dinners can be portioned rather small, maybe 400-600 calories as an ideal. you should not be very hungry at this time, and so this is more a matter of socially being able to refuse what is too much. unless completely poor options (ex. takeout or frozen vegan pizza), eat whatever is made in a small amount
always have access to caffeine tablets. drink coffee in the morning if it feels right, and same for at work
take an aspirin daily in the morning, with b100 complex. take additional (morning or night) if a particular need to
as much as i'd love to keep my state while still sleeping as i should, it seems incompatible. sleep for six hours or less, but six should be okay. it's better to wake up early than to sleep very late
mental, spiritual notes
if direct focuses are (in the moment) unfulfilling or going off course, focus the energy outside. in practical terms, go out and look sexy. watch what you draw in and feel it