MON 30 had my first meal and it felt fine, not too inspirational. i will likely have another coffee and some juice before leaving. i am somewhat concerned about what i'll be able to have in the evening, and i am beginning to think the best way about this would be to just do a sugar fast type thing. there's really no regular meal i could have at work that wouldn't be full of PUFAs. i don't want to pay for a meal there, and anything i'd be offered for free would be even worse. so the plan for now is to buy something while i'm out before three, then stick to sugary stuff while at work: coffees with sugar, coke, juice, smoothies without dairy added. most likely i won't end up having much other than coffees but it's okay, i will have a snack once i get home and i'll just try to get soemthing more substantial while out. i really have been trying to stay away from so much dried fruit (since it actually has starch i think, at least dates) but i can get other more calorically dense things like drinks. a thought i just had regarding the honey diet stuff, and actually losng weight this way, is that it probably is only effective for people who are willing to commit to lowering their stress and accepting happiness and peace. the diet is helpful for this, but if you slip into bad habits and become depressed, i don't think that it will work as it should. when i've used this diet during times of really bad stress (and without having dealt with the stress through other means) i've just ended up genuinely overeating, feeling guilty and sometimes manic from way too much sugar or honey. this is never the energetic, happy state that is sought after. it's a very stressed and erratic way of being, and i want to avoid it at all costs. i am now committing myself to reducing this stress and to living happily, and that's why i am comfortable taking to this diet again, knowing i am ready to accept the benefits of it. when done right, there's a lot of beauty to it. it is very freeing and relaxed. you can find acceptable foods literally anywhere, for any price. you just feel calm and sure about yourself. and life is quite beautiful again... felt a little tired while getting ready, plus it seemed like my thoughts and movements were slowing down. so, i came up for another light meal. feel better instantly! i do however need to make sure i have a better supply of fruits at home, and this will especially be the case from wednesday to friday when i do not have work and therefore would probably want to have most (if not all) my meals at home. i should be fine for tomorrow, but will need to think about what to get for those few days. orange juice would be ideal, and maybe whatever fresh fruit is on sale. i could also splurge on nice jar of honey. i've seen ones for around $12 which does seem like a lot for the small amount, but if it would last me at least those three days, i don't see why it would be a problem. actually a lot more reasonable than the $5.99 i spent on dried pineapple yesterday, and more calories! SUN 29 didn't end up having anything at work (not even water) because i was quite preoccupied. so, there was a long time between my meals, and i did get hungry/lethargic believe leaving work. i think i made a fairly good choice with my meal afterwards, though the portion of pineapple was insane. generally speaking, i do think that was excessive to finish the whole thing. i didn't want to stress over it though, so when i wanted to eat more, i just let myself- whatever, i knew i wouldn't binge today and that's what really mattered to me. in the future i would probably either get the dried mango or kiwi because they come in smaller portions, or i would make a point to just have half of it (would probably be enough anyway) and to actually decide to have the other half the next day. i think a part of me just felt like if i didn't finish it, might as well throw it out. which of course is dumb. dinner at home was fine too. i had the steak first, right when i got home because i was so beat from all the walking. a bit later, i had the cottage cheese with honey and my latte. i think this was a good dinner and i really wouldn't change a thing. maybe i didn't *need* both the milk and cottage cheese, so if it was a less active day, i could simply do one or the other. i wanted the gelatine to balance out the steak though of course. i am still finishing my latte and afterwards will have an aspirin and a teaspoon of coconut oil. then i'll be settling in for the night, trying to relax. tomorrow i will be home most likely until around noon before seeing a. i am thinking i may try to make some kind of smoothie (if i have the motivation to), or if not, just fruits and coffees with sugar. i do think i'll aim to have the sugar only in my coffees as i've relied a bit too heavily on it lately i think, having a bunch on top of fresh fruit. it's not the most nutritious, and i think even juice may be slightly better. so i guess that's my goal, to have them separate. with a, it's possible i'll get some kind of snack before work. if so, i will probably get a full-sugar drink and some kind of fruit. since i had dried fruit today, i will try to go with fresh. i realized there is a fountain close to foodland that i can use to wash them.